What if the reason you freeze before you speak has nothing to do with confidence at all?
Most people who fear public speaking believe they simply lack confidence, when what is really happening is that long before they reach the front of the room, their mind has already played the movie. I know this because for years it was my movie too, and as someone who has since spent two decades in the dental industry, spoken on conference stages and written a column for Irish Dentistry, I can tell you the fear did not disappear on its own, it changed when I learned how to rewrite the film.
The movie that plays before you speak
The scenes are usually familiar, you freeze, you lose your words, you say the wrong thing or you say nothing at all, and none of it has happened yet. Your brain rehearses that movie as if it already has, which is why it can quietly become your reality and stop you from taking even the first few steps towards being seen and heard.
What NLP is and why the best speakers use it
Neuro Linguistic Programming, or NLP, is the study of how your thoughts and your language shape your actions, and it sits behind some of the most powerful speakers in the world, including Tony Robbins, who uses it to create real change in the people he works with. As an NLP master practitioner, it was central to overcoming my own fear of public speaking, changing how I deliver with impact and, more importantly, how I talk to myself when the fear shows up.
Rewrite your movie in three steps
The first step is to notice the film you are playing and name it for what it is, a story rather than a fact, because you cannot change a movie you have not yet noticed you are watching.
The second step is to replay the scene with you doing the thing, calm, clear and confident, standing there as the higher version of yourself who is more than capable of it, which gives your mind a new rehearsal to follow.
The third step is to change the words you use with yourself, swapping "I will freeze" for "I know exactly what I want to say," since the language in your own head sets the state you walk into the room with.
Our words create our worlds
Our words create our worlds, and the words you use in your own head before you speak are no exception. NLP will sharpen your presenting skills, although the deeper value lies in how it shifts the way you see yourself, which is what allows confidence to last long after the talk is over.
If you would like to find out how NLP can help your delivery and your mindset around the fear of public speaking, get in touch through lisagrogancoaching.com and let's talk about the movie you want to create next.
